Carly needs to get laid... right fuckin' NOW!

They can give me as many hugs as they want but I've pretty much concluded that I've run out of things to live for. In the grand scheme of things I'm just taking up space. We are overpopulated anyways so who cares if one of us goes missing.
One of my friends just died in a car crash, the memorial is today but I'm not going. I helped set up for it yesterday. They asked many of his friends to help out but only two of us came and we weren't even his best friends. They decided to stay home and rewrite R.I.P Logan on their status on facebook over and over.
The other day I saw a girl leave from class on account of being sad over his death. Three others soon followed only because she left. They were using grief over his death to skip class.
I'm tired of this. No one really cares, it's human nature. We all move on, and time will heal the loss of another friend I guess. Maybe those girls can skip even more classes when I'm gone....at least i'm not emo. lol

Well forget that whole thing I wrote...Daniel has now decided to ignore me. Jeremy no longer interests me. and jack is quite selfish proving to not call me.

Well, I'm having an unusual guy problem.
Like most girls my age all we want are boys boys and some more boys for later. I seem to have quite a few to pick from. I like a few of them but I don't want to dive into another relationship and lose interest. I've just read Bram Stoker's Dracula and I feel like the character Lucy, except not turned into a vampire. She had a similar problem. She had men flocking to her but she only wanted one, the right one. In the movie she picked one but still flirted a lot with the others. I don't want to do that, play with or break someone's heart.

First there is Daniel. He is young, strapping, fun, energetic, handsome and less of a bum. I'd like to have him but I'm afraid he'll hurt me because he hangs out A LOT with his ex-girlfriend of two years. She broke his heart and I think she could tease him back into her arms. Also things are a little awkward between us since she's around so often. We did have a wonderful make-out time twice which was very pleasurable. But now he won't show me much affection at all now that school has started. Some of my guy friends say I shouldn't date him because he's awkward. He gets scary when he's angry and he seems to make a scene a lot in classes..a clown.

The other guy is named Jack. He is very well equipped in the nether regions and as an adorable attitude. He's not too handsome but I don't mind. I lost my virginity to this man but I didn't much enjoy it at the time. I love to please him and we see each other from time to time to do just that. But he is a bum/pot head dealer and will never call me, I'm always the one to call him. It's very frustrating. He is very good on the piano and is a wonderful song writer....but a bum.

This other man is my ex boyfriend. We never broke up but he moved away to the city so we called it quits instead of suffering through a long distance relationship. He's a German btw which was a huge turn on for me. He's very fashionable and doesn't do drugs except for the occasional cig and beer. Our relationship lasted almost a year and we were the cutest couple. But we never did anything cause I was still a virgin and was insecure, but that's probably why it lasted so long. I cried a storm when he left because our goodbye wasn't that sweet or meaningful. I'm not a sentimentalist. He is dating but nothing seems to be working for him. He emailed me a week ago reminding me of the love we shared. He attached an old note I sent to him expressing my feelings. This did rekindle old feelings. But he lives too far away and will go to college soon...far away. And I've sorta moved on but I still think of him. I don't think he's too much of a bum...but he might have changed since he's going to the airforce, which is hot.

And then there is Jeremy. My big teddy bear. I even call him Jere Bear all the time. We did wrestling together and became great friends. We always pal around and wrestle. He was the heavyweight wrestler, one of the strongest guys I know and I love big strong guys. I grew to have many feelings for him though I never said or did anything, I'm sure he shared them too cause everyone told me about it. He's not handsome nor does he have the best body. But he's sweet and loving and would always be there for me. I fall in and out of crushes with him. Now we don't hang out too much but I'd like to. Whenever we do see each other we connect greatly. He's not a bum.

Jesus, so far I have a lot. There are others still but I'm tired and will write more later...please give me input!!!!!!

I've realized that I thoroughly enjoy to take pictures of incredibly simple things. SOO there will be more of that.